A Commitment to Giving
She called his name Ben-oni...
Genesis 35:18a
The account in Genesis of Rachel's death is poignant. As she lay dying, she names her newborn Ben-oni. He is better known by the name his father gave him, Benjamin, meaning "son of the right hand." But what does the name Ben-oni mean? In the textual note of the English Standard Version (ESV), we read that it could mean "son of my sorrow" or "son of my strength." The ambiguity is suggestive. Often family memories are both painful and life-giving. As Jacob said goodbye to his beloved wife, Rachel, and shortly after said goodbye to his father, Isaac, he embraced the new relationship with his son, Benjamin, and built his future from there.
Families are special. They are complex-full of tough challenges, difficult times, happy memories and meaningful moments. And how we look upon our families is important. A few years ago I was introduced to a man named Charles Collier. He writes that families can appreciate their "capital." He is not only speaking of financial (property) capital. He suggests there are three other dimensions of capital as well: human (calling), social (care) and intellectual (communication). He explains that these may be keys to answering important questions such as: What is really important to your family? What is your family's vision for the future? How can family members communicate with each other? In what ways can your family encourage each member's emotional and intellectual growth? What improvements can family members make in their decisions together?1
In the past five years, my wife, Mary, and I have watched our wider family's next generation grow from zero to seven, with three more arriving this summer. All of Collier's questions surface as we look at the next generation. My father left a legacy of valuing education and leadership. Mary and I want to continue those values, but we also want to add a dimension that we think Collier has overlooked: spiritual "capital." We want to encourage our children and grandchildren to commit to giving that will build ministries that honor and proclaim Jesus Christ as Lord through leadership formation and education.
Every day it is becoming clearer to me why God called Mary and me to Trinity School for Ministry. When the school began in 1976 my heart soared with excitement that God was "forming Christian leaders for mission" and raising up a place to "equip the saints for the work of ministry." Today I am more excited than ever. Amidst the turbulence of the Episcopal denomination, Trinity has the opportunity to equip trustworthy leaders that will re-form the face of Anglicanism for the days of the future. What a privilege and opportunity!
Mary and I are working with our children to plan ways in which we can help future students come to Trinity and get ready for how God will use their leadership gifts in the mission of Christ. During the last academic year, our youngest son, Macon, joined us for the closing dinner of our visitors' weekend in the Spring. Later he shared how impressed he was with the quality of the students he met and with whom he conversed. I reminded him of the sacrifices, at all levels, that the students endured to come to Trinity, and we chatted about how important and significant it was to garner scholarships and support for the students that want to come to Trinity.
My family is excited by the wonderful values we were given from past generations, and most of all from God himself. We are even more excited that he has given us the opportunity to pass those values to future generations as we work to honor Christ in the days to come. Mary and I have set aside a portion of our will to support future scholarships at Trinity, but more important, we want to work creatively with our boys and their children to keep the vision moving forward for generations to come. And perhaps, like Rachel, the struggles of our labor will give birth to new and wonderful Ben-onis in the days ahead.
1Collier, Charles W. Wealth in Families. Boston: UDO Communications, 2001.
The Rev. Dr. Henry L. (Laurie) Thompson III is an alumnus of Trinity (DMin 2001) and is Dean of the Doctor of Ministry Program. His wife, Mary, has been very active with student wives at Trinity.
